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Lying Liars

December 30, 2010 - Karin Elton
Every year the Burlington Liars’ Club has a contest for the biggest liars. Some lies through the years that caught my fancy are: In 1973 Melvin Cohen of Milwaukee, Wis., offered: "Aristotle Onassis is planning to give Jackie a plant for Christmas. The name of the plant is General Motors.” In 1974, Robert E. Regent of Milwaukee, Wis., won with "We were so poor in our youth that our parents couldn’t afford window shopping." In 1982, Dean H. Hesselberg of Winter, Wis., submitted “We had a terrible wind storm here in northwestern Wisconsin on July 4, 1976. The velocity of the wind had telephone lines stretched out so far that when I called my neighbor across the road, I was charged $17.60 plus tax, for a long-distance telephone call.” In 1995 Bill Taylor, Jr. of Westbrook, Conn., won with “A fellow was eating corn that was so old one of the ears had a hearing aid.” In 2006, James Wilberg of Franklin, Wis., won with “There are three kinds of people in the world — those who are good at math, and those who are not.” The champion liar of 2010, David Milz of Wisconsin, won with "I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met."


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