Messing with the Packers

Win or lose the division this year, the Vikings have already beaten the Packers. See, we — we being the Vikings (unless they sign Favre, then it’s ‘they’) we are the team in the division that always seems to be surrounded by controversy. We’re the ones who get the bad national press (see Tice ticket scalping, Love Boat, free safety gets busted in a stairwell and anything related to Culpepper). Bad pub follows the Vikings like a thirsty pup follows its mother. But this summer, it’s the Packers who are dodging bullets from the press. And the best part is, we stoked the flames; the Packers will be the first to tell you that — they filed tampering charges against the Vikings, suspecting that interest from the Vikings is the main reason Favre has changed his mind about playing in 2008. If found guilty of tampering — and it looks like they could be after the Packers apparently checked the phone records and found “repeated calls to coach Brad Childress and offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell” on a Packers-issued cell phone — the Vikings will probably get fined and might lose some draft picks in the future. But it’d be worth it, wouldn’t it? When you were a kid, did you let a little thing like being grounded stop you from doing something really sneaky, maybe even illegal? We don’t know if these charges hold any validity, but wouldn’t you just love to know it’s true? Wouldn’t it be nice if WE were the ones responsible for ruining the Packers’ summer? Here they were, a team on the rise — the youngest in the NFL — with a new quarterback who has learned from a future Hall of Famer and a solid defense. They were turning the page without losing their bookmark. They were looking to the future, yet nowhere near any rebuilding stage. All they had to do this year was hold off a hungry Vikings team, which has improved mightily this offseason and were, themselves, poised to make a, gulp, Super Bowl run. Then, apparently, the phone started ringing and the once-retired Favre got the “itch” to play again. And who’s making him scratch? None other than one of the Packers’ biggest rivals — the Vikings, who must’ve figured, ‘hey, we couldn’t beat them last year on the field, so let’s beat them this summer off it. The Packers embarrassed the Vikings twice last season. They literally ran all over them at Lambeau, and it was at the Metrodome where Favre broke the NFL record for career touchdown passes. Then they went to playoffs and were a game away from the Super Bowl until a cold, brittle Favre choked the game away to the Giants. Still, the Packers were almost on top of the world — at least they could see it from where they were at — while we were left behind, one of a number of mediocre teams on the outside of the playoffs looking in. This was a giant offseason for the Vikings. They landed a big-time receiver. They brought in a solid new safety and they acquired the services of last year’s best pass rusher. Still, they must’ve thought something was missing. But what? What could make one of the best offseasons in Viking history complete? Let’s mess with the Packers! These are the little things that help cultivate rivalries, and the teams that are really good at messing with rivals are the ones that come up with new ways to do it. If you can’t beat ’em on the field, beat ’em off it. And beat them they are. Now the Packers are dazed and confused and want nothing more than for this all to go away. Training camp begins Sunday for the Packers, but can they focus on football? Heck no, not with this Favre thing being brought up by every sports reporter on the face of the earth. They would love to focus on their new quarterback and help him develop, but it’s gonna be tough now, because, who knows, Favre just might be their starter in Week 1. What else can the Packers do but accept him back, release him and let him pick and choose where he wants to end his career? Some say that could be with the Vikings, and there’s nothing the Packers are more scared off than Favre wearing purple this year. Getting Favre into a Vikings uniform would be the final blow to the Pack. It would be the last bullet left in the gun, you know, like when the bad guy in a movie has only a few breaths left and the good guy is standing there, pointing his .38 at him. Then, right after he hits him with a clever one-liner, BANG! Bad guy dead. Good guy walks away. And gets the girl. I’ve made it clear I don’t want my team to have anything to do with Favre …ever, but I’m hedging a little bit on that stance. If it would mean putting one more nail in the green and gold coffin, I guess I’d be willing to compromise. It’s been fun to watch Favre play with the Packers like a 10-year-old poking at a snake with a twig, teasing it, and, eventually — if he’s a good country kid — torturing the poor thing until it slithers off into the tall grass where it eventually dies from exhaustion. That’s the way the Packers deserve to be treated, and I can think of no better person than to stick it to them then Brett Favre.