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A Twilight counterpoint
November 23, 2009 - Deb Gau
Rae and Karin made some comments to me today to the effect that I’m the youngest of our newsroom staff. “Oh,” I replied. “So I’m supposed to be the hip one, then?”
We’re in trouble if I’m the hip one. I don’t really understand the attraction in some of the hot new fads that come and go. Case in point, take the Twilight Saga. I had a good time at the first Twilight movie, but I thought teen vampire Edward Cullen was more creepy than cute, and I haven’t read any of the books. I tried borrowing my sister’s copy of “New Moon” this weekend and didn’t make it more than a couple of chapters before collapsing in a fit of the giggles.
The passage that did it? A description of Edward Cullen “leaning against his polished silver Volvo, like a marble tribute to a forgotten pagan god of beauty.” If that were meant to be funny, like Edward knows he’s gorgeous and is prone to draping himself over various reflective surfaces like a GQ model, it would be great. Unfortunately the book’s narrator, 18-year-old Bella Swan, is dead serious.
Bella's inner voice was flat-out bewildering to me. Let’s go back to the “marble pagan god” comment. Seriously, what teenager, on what planet, thinks like that? In those words? In private, with no one to be impressed by her poetic skills? It’s almost as if Bella is randomly channeling a woman older than her. (*cough*Stephenie Meyer*cough*)
I’m told my real problem is I think too hard about the books. But it’s not like I’m analyzing them - the goofiness just jumps right out. I can’t help it!
There's another strike against my hipness. I just don't know when to shut up and look at the pretty boys.
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