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MARSHALL — Sung to the tune of “Happy Birthday,” parent educator Mary Sheedy Kurcinka taught a group of parents a song to use when they feel overwhelmed with a tired, cranky child.



“Choose sleep for this child, choose sleep for this child, choose sleep and you’ll be happy, choose sleep for this child.”



From her latest book “Sleepless in America: Are Our Children Misbehaving or Missing Sleep?” Sheedy Kurcinka talked about how to help families get the sleep they need.



Sheedy Kurcinka asked the parents what challenges brought them to the presentation Tuesday night.



“Tantrums in the morning,” came an answer.



“Getting my infant to sleep through the night,” said a mother.



Sheedy Kurcinka said a good night’s sleep begins in the morning.



“It’s really about what we do during the day that changes the night wakenings,” Sheedy Kurcinka said.



Other challenges parents said they faced included an unfocused child, children who are not falling asleep, staying in bed and anger management.



Sheedy Kurcinka said recognizing what sleep deprivation looks like, the link between challenging behavior and lack of sleep and practical strategies.



“We are a tired society, it’s almost like an epidemic,” Sheedy Kurcinka said.



When a child’s arousal system is “over-activated,” that child cannot sleep, Sheedy Kurcinka said.



Sheedy Kurcinka talked about different “zones” at bedtime: the “green” zone, where a child has calm energy, is focused and engaged, has a steady heart and pulse rate and is calm tired. In the “red” zone, a child has tense energy, avoids eye contact and is disengaged, has accelerated heart and pulse rate and is tense tired.



“If you have to wake them, they’re not getting enough sleep,” Sheedy Kurcinka said.



Sleep deprivation affects children’s ability to manage emotions, the body, attention, focus and performance and social situations, Sheedy Kurcinka said. For example, a child may lose it over “little things.”



“This is the kid who is having a fit because his brother is ‘looking’ at him,” Sheedy Kurcinka said.



Sleep-deprived children also experience stomachaches or headaches, are anxious and easily overwhelmed, pick on pets or others, don’t listen, have difficulty being patient and crave carbohydrates or sugar, among other things, Sheedy Kurcinka said.



“It’s ‘where’s the cookies, where’s the crackers?’” Sheedy Kurcinka said.



Sheedy Kurcinka said that children who get more sleep have higher grade point averages, have higher reading skills, have fewer accidents, gets sick less frequently, experience fewer cavities and gum disease and are less susceptible to obesity.



Setting a schedule is a strategy for better sleep, Sheedy Kurcinka said, and that includes exposing the culprits tension, time and temperament.



Distress and excitement tension triggers include parental stress, separations, over-stimulation and scheduling, major life changes and growth spurts.



Things that can innocently disrupt the body clock, Sheedy Kurcinka said, include skipped naps, more than 30 to 60 minutes difference in wake times, bedtimes and mealtimes, more than 60 minutes of screen time, electronics in the bedroom and electronics at night, and caffeinated drinks.



“Caffeine hangs in a child’s body for eight to 10 hours,” Sheedy Kurcinka said.



Removing electronics from the bedroom, such as video games, computers and cell phones, is necessary for healthy sleep, Sheedy Kurcinka said.



“TVs need to come out of the bedrooms,” Sheedy Kurcinka said.



Sheedy Kurcinka told the parents that an adult “sleep time” should be around 9:45 p.m.



“People laugh at me when they see this, but I want you to have that goal,” Sheedy Kurcinka said.



Tense children will sleep better when parents take the steps to help them fall asleep in the “green” zone,” Sheedy Kurcinka said. One way is to establish a bedtime or naptime routine that includes: a transition activity, such as dimming the lights, reading, cleaning up and preparing for bed: calm and connect, which is deactivating the arousal system, reading, talking and massage and back scratches; the cue for sleep — a lullaby, turning on a fan or sound machine, turning off or on a light and a little “saying,” such as a prayer or kiss, and then the switch to sleep.



“When you create the routine, it cues the brain for that switch to sleep,” Sheedy Kurcinka said.

 

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