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Editor's column: Knives on a plane? This one’s confusing

March 16, 2013
By Per Peterson , Marshall Independent

These are strange times.

For the first time in nearly 600 years, a pope resigned. Remember where were you the last time that happened?

The ground beneath us is opening up and literally swallowing us.

In New York, the mayor came really close to preventing businesses from serving pop, or soda if you prefer, in anything larger than a 16-ounce glass because we're all getting too fat. A judge ruled against Mayor Bloomberg. So, obesity is in now?

In Minnesota, we're charging an 86-year-old woman with Parkinson's with voter fraud because she voted twice. Ohh, bring on Voter ID! Sen. Kiffmeyer will have a field day with this one.

In Texas, they built a $60 million stadium. Nope, it's not a practice facility for the Cowboys. Hardly. It's for teenagers at Allen High School, which built it on the shoulders of a voter-approved $119 million bond package.

Sheesh, when I was in high school, I thought it was cool when we got new uniforms.

And here's one that you can't help but shake your head at: Eleven-plus years after 9/11 it has been decreed that it's OK for airline passengers to bring knives on a plane.

Let me repeat that: It's OK for airline passengers to bring knives on a plane.

Whoa!

And we can also bring golf clubs, ski poles, hockey sticks and pool cues aboard in carry-on luggage. Good thing, too; we'll need something to fend off the next crop of knife-wielding terrorists, who no doubt rejoiced when they heard the knife news from the Transportation Security Administration.

Knives on a plane? In 2013? Surely they can't be serious. They are. And don't call me Shirley.

Speaking of which, not even the great Leslie Nielsen (God rest his soul) and the movie "Airplane!" set the airline industry back as much as this bone-head decision.

I haven't been on a plane in about a decade and now plan to stay grounded for rest of my life. If I want to go to Europe, I'll swim, thank you.

Since I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, someone please explain to me the TSA's rationale for all of a sudden deciding that, yes, it's OK to bring a knife on a plane.

After 9/11 you could barely bring the shirt you were wearing aboard a plane. Now, a little more than a decade later, we're easing off on restrictions that were long overdue to begin with?

What happened here? Are we not scared of terrorists any longer?

The new rules outline that only knives with blades no longer than 2.36 inches and less than a half-inch wide will be allowed in airline cabins, as long as said blade is retractable and doesn't lock into place.

Solace?

The TSA chief said not having to search for these small knives will free up officers' time to look for bombs or components of a potential improvised explosive device.

How this country can on one hand have people who attempt to put an end to the 32-ounce soda, and on another have a group that tells us it's OK to bring a pocketknife on a plane astounds me. Blows me away.

What's next? "Oh, you can bring that hand grenade with you, hun, but promise to keep that pin in, 'K?" "A gun? Yes, you can bring that gun in your bag on board, just keep that safety on! Have a nice flight." "What's that, a flamethrower? I'll have to get my manager." "Is that an aerosol can? Security!"

We live under scores of rules and regulations in this country, and there's a reason for that. A lot of Americans think we have too many and that it's getting worse. And as bad of a time it is to be a gun lover - many paranoid gun enthusiasts are still worried a Constitution-stomping federal government is trying to take their guns away - it apparently is a great time to be a knife connoisseur, because now you can bring your blade buddy on a plane with you.

Surely you can't be serious.

 
 

 

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